Just for the record; I don't have a flat cap, a walking stick or a fat waddling dog, nor do I ever want them. I have a collection of bad taste hats, but these are reserved for extreme sunny situations and cold days when I need to cover my big ears. Dogs are just walking, pooping, smelly, responsibilities that I don't want anything to do with.
When I retired, I didn't have a big plan about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, I just wanted to have a good time. So far Plan A has worked very well. My wife retired five months before I did, having been a teacher for thirty three years. As far as I'm concerned she deserves a peerage for Services to Education much more than most of the old farts in the House of Lords who get rewarded for being rich or for writing show tunes.
I regularly get asked "so what do you do now you're retired", and the short answer is "I do what I like and enjoy myself". I think there is an expectation that I spend the day in "lounge wear" watching daytime TV while eating Pringles. But I have a Calvinistic streak in me that thinks daytime TV (after Charlie Stayt and Naga Munchetty have gone for their breakfast) is the work of the devil, and that days are for filling up with meaningful activity.
08:20
I got up about twenty minutes after Julie, got dressed and went down to the kitchen. I made porridge and a cup of tea and watched Breakfast News (BBC of course), I like to start my day with Naga and Stef.
09:00
I went out to the shed in my slippers and checked that my No. 1 Bike (a Giant Rapid) was match-fit for a planned outing today. The back tyre needed more air, and I spray-oiled the chain and moving parts. I shouldn't really go out to the shed in my slippers, since I could easily bring in dirt on the soles which could stain the laminate flooring and risk the wrath of Julie.
09:20
Off I cycled to Roehampton Gate cafe in Richmond Park to meet my buddy Wes. He is a former colleague at the BBC who is also a gentleman of leisure with a penchant for bicycles (he has eight).
10:00
Wes and I had a coffee with the other MAMILs and MALILs (you can figure out that acronym yourself) and chewed the fat. Wes and I share an interest in engineering, bad jokes and disrespecting former colleagues called John and Cheesey. Only close former colleagues will get that reference, the rest of you will think WTF.
10:45
We cycled round Richmond Park, through Ham Gate to Teddington Lock, along the Thames to Kingston Bridge, across the river and into Bushy Park, ending up at the next refreshment stop. It really is remarkably lovely cycling in Richmond Park past lots of happy Roe Deer and Red Deer. The culling season is here, so some of them will soon be sausages or shrink-wrapped in little plastic trays.
12.20
The Pheasantry Cafe was busy with Yummy Mummies and retired people enjoying coffee and cakes. There are no pheasants at all, so don't go there expecting colourful game birds. We bumped into a former colleague who has recently retired; somehow the Pheasantry had drawn us all in. I had a chicken sandwich and a big fruit scone with jam and Rodda's clotted cream, which will take two weeks of hard exercise to work off again.
13:30
Cycled towards home via Hampton Court and along the river past Kingston on the opposite shore.I suffered from wind, both external and internal. Wes left me at Kingston Bridge to head back to SW19, while I headed for TW2.
14.10
Arrived home, had a cup of tea and put the telly on. I watched a Timewatch with Alice Roberts presenting it. The lovely Alice is my favourite TV factual presenter; she is a professor and also looks great in a vest and combat trousers. Alice can talk about almost anything and I would watch it.
15:30
Julie came in the front door and woke me up. Sometime during the documentary on Stonehenge I had gently slipped into the arms of Morpheus. Documentaries often have that effect on me, I call it docusnooze. David Attenborough can knock me out in minutes with a description of a Bower Bird trying to impress another Bower Bird by dancing around a big heap of twigs.
16:10
Successfully printed out a photo of my daughter on my new printer, and it didn't freeze, stall or jam. Result! My printers seem to last a few years before my iMac decides they are too old and stops talking to them.
16:30
Started typing my blog, it looks exactly like this. I am typing on my Acer Chromebook, which is my new favourite gadget. It's fast, light, good looking and one third of the price of a Macbook.
17:30
Julie cooked some minestrone soup for tea. Readers from outside of the UK might think I have consumed a hot leafy beverage made with Italian soup. That would be wrong, because tea is what we call our evening meal. If you are a bit more middle class you call it dinner, and if you are slightly posh and went to private school, you call it supper (pronounced sapper).
18:30
Watched a bit more of the Stonehenge documentary, and was disappointed that Eric von Daniken didn't get a mention. Stonehenge was built by people, and not aliens with a sense of humour.
19:30
I cycled to Richmond to see Marc Morris give a lecture on the Norman Conquest. The Bayeux Tapestry turns out to be an embroidery made in Canterbury, and has survived for over 900 years without being cut up to use as dish cloths, or worse!
21:15
Cycled home at great speed through St Margarets and up the A316. The talk on the Domesday Book has added extra power to my legs and I flew up the Chertsey Road like a Bat Out of Hell (but without the Todd Rundgren guitar sound effects).
21:30
Got home and watched telly on my Panasonic 42 inch plasma. I multitasked by looking up the Pannovian Avars on Wikipedia. I just love Wikipedia, i can look up any kind of odd stuff that comes into my head, and a lot of odd stuff comes into my head, ask my wife.
11.30
Went to the wooden hill to Bedfordshire. Julie was already asleep and I had to put my jammies on in the dark. There are bits of ropey stuff at the front of my jammie bottoms, so I can feel which way to put them on. My jammie top has a Darth Vader design on the front of them which I can feel and thus achieve the correct orientation.
